Hello Readers!

You probably think I've abandoned this blog... You'd be right about that assumption. I've been posting at a different address: http://emdowneyhaiti.blogspot.com/

My heart and mind have been in Haiti for months now.

Read all about it there. :)

Patio Stop 2b: My Porch

After being out around town, I had to make a special stop: home. I had some reading to do before small group, and I had forgotten to bring the book with me. And, the poor kittens needed to be fed. So home I went. When I got there, it occurred to me I had been neglecting a very special patio: my screened in porch.

I have a porch on the front of my building that I sometimes neglect. Partly I neglect my porch because its leaking and the landlord isn't doing anything to fix it, and partly because the leaking has lead me to neglect the condition of the porch (which means there is a growing accumulation of stuff that needs a different home)...

My porch is a little special because I don't have usual porch furniture on it- I have a bed on my porch, a full sized bed. It is beyond luxurious to relax on the bed on my screened in porch, red a book, and sip a glass of wine. The only thing that would make my porch better (besides the landlord fixing the leak) would be less traffic on Briarcliff road. Unfortunately, being the front apartment means I get a front row seat to the traffic on Briarcliff road. Its not insufferable, but its not exactly peaceful either. Which means I have only attempted to sleep on the bed on my porch 2 times. Neither time did I get a whole lotta sleep. So the bed is mostly used for reclining and reading on lazy afternoons.

So between patio stops, I stopped at my own porch. The parking isn't bad- I have a pass in my own lot! There is no food service unless I make something for myself... And, as for plugs outside, I don't have one. The porch faces the east, which means in the afternoon there is no direct sun- which is nice in the summer, but cool still in the early spring. When I compare it to the other patios on the tour, it ranks pretty high because, after all, it is attached to my home. But, its not quite high enough on the scale to keep me home and off other patios around town. And so onto other patios I go, in search of the perfect place to get out into this early spring weather!

Patio Stop 2: JavaVino

Patio Stop 2: Java Vino

JavaVino has this tiny corner of space carved out in the Highlands, and if you don't know where it is, you'll probably drive by without noticing. I have been once before, and remember loving the atmosphere, and I knew they had a patio. So JavaVino was my goal for patio stop #2.

JavaVino has a little parking problem- that is, their parking lot is tiny and you can't tell if its full until you drive down this steep hill into the parking lot. If the lot is full you have the difficult decision of trying to back up the hill you just drove down, or try to turn your car around in a tight spot... Fortunately the handicap spot is usually empty, so you can use it to turn around. There are other plentiful parking lots all around, but they are all marked "Parking for Manual's Tavern Only." I think there must be some kinda of parking lot wars going on in our city, at least in the Highlands there is. Why can't these neighboring businesses get along and share parking lots? I might be willing to patronize both businesses if I knew they one of them wasn't going to tow my car away while in the other establishment.

After solving the parking puzzle, JavaVino is a great stop on the Patio tour. The menu has loads of options for the hungry and thirsty. Loads of light varieties if you just want a snack, but whole meal options too if you're there for breakfast or lunch, as I was. The guy in front of me in line was surprised at how cheap his total was for coffee and a cookie and a coke. So, good prices too! They have couches and high-top tables, and free wifi! Unfortunately, I didn't use the wifi so I can't say whether its easy to log on or not. And yes, they did have one plug on the patio for us with dead batteries in our laptops!

I do have to say, both times I have eaten at JavaVino, I thought that my food took a peculiarly long time in arriving, however they apologized for the wait. And, it was delicious. So, I guess since I was sitting around working, the wait wasn't a big deal.

Overall, I enjoyed my experience at JavaVino. Mostly positives with just one wish for better parking . Definitely one of my favorites places in the highlands. Next time I need to order one of the glasses of wine!

Patio Tour 2011

So the weather is beautiful in February, I am on break from school, and I don't want to work inside my apartment. I don't want to be inside my apartment period. The studio is closed and I have "homework" from kindergarten that is threatening to take over my life. Solution? Take advantage of the local patio's in my neighborhood that offer outdoor escapes from my apartment and free wifi. It seems like the perfect arrangement! I can be outside and get my kindergarten homework finished...

Which is the beginning of Patio Tour 2011! I live in a community of amazing local businesses that I have not taken full advantage of and that is a pity. So today I begin my patronage while fulfilling my need to get out of the apartment and be out in the pretty weather.

First stop is an easy one because I needed to start with a warm-up stop. Warm-up because I had my hands full and I was familiar with the franchise (yes, franchise, not locally-owned...), warm-up because sometimes I feel a little shy when I go into a new business all by my self, and warm-up because I wanted my first stop to be successful.

So here I am on my first stop of my patio tour: Caribou Coffee in Edgewood! When I was at home checking out yelps list of local patios with free Wifi, I completely forgot about Caribou Coffee here in Edgewood. I used to come down here a lot when I first moved to the neighborhood. I totally forgot they have a patio. So here are the pluses: easy to get to, ample parking, huge patio, and a familiar menu. My tea only cost me $2 and change, and its not crowded outside. Oh, and the wifi is easy to get on, no asking for a password or log-in code.

I do have a couple wishes too... I wish the patio had plug-in's, because my battery isn't going to last long. I wish the patio wasn't covered in shade, but when summer comes around the shade will be a plus.

2 wishes versus 3-4 pluses is great for my first patio stop! I don't know how long I'm gonna be able to sit out in the shade though. I might be hitting my next patio, hopefully sun-drenched, sooner than planned. Now, to the whole reason I am working and not playing: homework!

Don't Use All the Washing Machines

This might seem like a insignificant annoyance to me on any other day, but today it was the thing that confirmed that I am in a grumpy mood. Let me start at the beginning... 

Around 9:30 I was laying in bed, when I heard pounding on the door. I wasn't entirely sure it was pounding on my door because I still had my ear plugs in and was somewhere between asleep and waking. Regardless, I jumped up, ripped out my ear plugs, and hobbled to the door. And when I opened it, there was no one there... Strike 1. 

After an abrupt start to the day, I woke up remembering I didn't have peanut butter for my bagel, so before having a cup of coffee or eating anything, I went to the store. I decided to get some quarters to do laundry, and while doing so the teller at the bank counter proceeded to try to interest me in a home loan... Let me paint the picture. I was in a t-shirt and jeans, no make up, and a cap. Clearly I had just woken up. When I cashed my check, I couldn't even remember my account number. I know this guy is just doing his job, but I think the signals were clear that I wasn't lucid enough to come close to thinking about when I would be needing a home loan. Strike 2. 

I took my time getting motivated to do the laundry. I was groggy when I got home and although I drank 2 cups of coffee, I wasn't in my brightest mood! When I finally gathered everything together to go to laundry it was probably about 3. So I made my basket full of clothes, grabbed the detergent and bleach, and headed to the laundry room, in the basement (which is at the end of the hall, down two fights of stairs). When I got down there another girl was casually sorting her laundry and I asked if there was a free washer. As she continues to toss things in the washer she says, "that one is broken, and I am using the others..." There ought to be a sign that says, "Its not cool to use all the working washers at one time. Other people might want to use them. We don't have multiple washers so you can do all your laundry at one time." But there isn't a sign. So she continues on saying, "But, this is my last load, so in 30 minutes there will be one free." Typically I would just shrug my shoulders and be cool with the whole thing. But today after starting off a little rough, I was, honestly, extremely annoyed. I wanted to tell her that its not very considerate or thoughtful to not leave at least 1 washer free for the other tenants. I wanted to tell her that even if she had 5 more loads, she was going to let me use it after this one. I wanted her to relinquish the washer to me pronto! Of course, I didn't say any of those things and of course she didn't relinquish the washer. So I carried everything back up to my apartment and waited. Strike 3. And I'm officially in a grumpy-pants mood. 

I tried to snap out of it! Really I did. It wasn't until I scored a point playing ultimate frisbee later this evening that I felt the grumpiness start to ease off... And that *is* a good feeling. Hopefully tomorrow won't start with pounding on my front door! 

The Secret to Aging

So, I was watching Dr. Oz this afternoon after a run at the YMCA, and he was sharing his prescription for aging well. To start his show, he introduced a couple of older gentlemen who were *much* older than they looked, one was 88 and looked about 70 and the other was 64 and looked 45. He asked both men, what is your secret to looking so young? Or, in other words, aging well? And both men started their answers with, "Love life..." Both men had found what they love doing in life and hobbies they loved, and spent their lives doing it. Then, they both said, "I have a great wife." They both had partners whom they loved sharing their lives with. The third thing on their lists? Eat veggies. So, while I was expecting some strange list of things to do or not to do, it boiled down to common sense things. 

1. Love life.

2. Spend your life with people you love.

3. Eat your veggies (and yes, they talked about restricting calories)

4. Get some cardo and strength exercise weekly (cardo 2-3 times a week, strength 2-3 times a week)

Then! He has some interesting little "experiments" to test yourself. 
First- how many push-ups can you do? 

Second- when you pinch (gently) the skin on your hand, how long does it take for the crease to disappear? This demonstrates the elasticity of your skin. 

So what's my point? There isn't a special secret to aging well! Just use your head: Eat well, Live well, and Love well! 

Blogging from my itouch

It's Saturday morning, I'm still in bed, and here I am blogging :) I am trying out the blog app on my iPod and enjoying that it might motivate me to start blogging regularly again! It's pretty amazing what I can do from this little device... I can check my balances, pay my bills, find a car or house to buy, my nearest starbucks (or any other nearest thing). I can do a yoga session, manage my schedule, stream pandora (or radio paradise!), catch up on the medal standings at the olympics, send email, chat, figure out what constellation that is, or cheer with a cow bell! Now if I could just get it to make me coffee...
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Two Paths...

This afternoon I decided to go by some old blogs that I haven't made time for reading lately. My activity in the blogging world used to be so frequent... Anyhow, as I zipped by some old blogs, I realized that some folks that used to link here (living 202), don't link here anymore. And, they're folks that I haven't seen in awhile or talked to in awhile, so its not too surprising that those blogs don't link here anymore. But, it made me wonder about the moments when we decide that we no longer want to keep in touch with someone. I feel like my life has been a revolving door. People come and go out of my life a lot. Mostly its girlfriends that come and go a lot, and it makes me wonder why. I realize most of the time its because lives change, circumstances change, the landscape of our day to day lives change. But does that really necessarily mean that our friendships have to change? I often blame myself for not keeping up with these girls, but the other day I was thinking about this I also kinda realized that the phone works both ways. But somehow I still feel responsible for the waining of those friendships. There have been weddings, many birthdays, showers, loads of events that I somehow didn't get invited to, and I also am sober minded enough to know that you can't invite everyone you know to these things. But again, missing those things makes me just wonder about the moments we decide a friend isn't friendly enough to invite back anymore, or to link to their blog, or to wish happy birthday on facebook? I'm not fishing for sympathy or pity, I'm truly curious about the passing of time and what makes some friendships survive and others fizzle?

For the love of Pots!

Ok, ok, I can explain my long absence. I have this clay obsession. And its really hard to type with clay covered fingers. Well, its not that hard. But it is hard to keep the keys clean when your fingers are clay coverage. Just ask Erik. This post is for him. He's one of the Head Potters at Mudfire were I indulge my clay obsession. He casually, or blatantly, suggested I follow his thoughts on pots at his blog. And, you know what, I like his thoughts on pots. SO, Mr. Head Potter Erik, I have now linked to you from my blog so that everyone else can ponder those thoughts too! So, everyone look to the left.. see, the link.. Erik Haagensen. Click there now.

I love my Job!

I was talking about my job yesterday, and I was so excited to tell the details of how the children's faces light up when I play the guitar or read a story. I seriously love to sing the Hokie Pokie and the Tootie Ta, and I can turn any theme into a sorting, patterning, graphing, counting, or grouping activity. When I was thinking about all this yesterday, I couldn't help be be thankful for a job I love. I know how rare it is to have a job I look forward to everyday, and having spent a year doing a job that I didn't love has made this year even more sweeter. I so love Kindergarten! If you wanna hear stories from the front lines of my class, check it out here.

My heart breaks

Today my heart breaks still. I found out that one of the students who was in my first kindergarten class suffered from a heart attack and died. She was a precious and delightful little girl who always had a smile for me. She always tried her very best, listened to everything I said, and was aways doing the right thing. One of the sweetest little souls I have had the delight of teaching. I dream about my students growing up and one day visiting me, telling me stories of high school and college and getting jobs; stories of falling in love and having their own children. But, I never, ever expected to outlive any of my students. It makes me wonder about the things she learned in my class. Not just the things she learned about academia, but the things about life and living. Did I tell her that she was special and lovable? Did she know that I cared tremendously about her? Did I give her enough hugs, enough attention, enjoy praise? Did she see God in me? It is still just so unbelievable. And, I confess it makes me want to hold closer the ones who are still here with me, to cherish them so much. If she were able to turn her ear down and listen now I'd whisper "Sweet child, we love you much."

What I was *really* doing in Canada last week!

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You Are Creative

I was at the pottery studio a couple days ago and overheard a comment that made me smile. A girl about my age was talking about her endeavor in pottery. Apparently she is a number cruncher during the day and something inspired her to try out pottery. As she was talking she said, "I'm not ..." paused, "I am trying to stop myself from saying I'm not creative..." I have heard so many people say that they are not creative, and it was so good to hear someone say that they are not allowing themselves to say that. I've always felt that there is some creativity in each person, even if they don't realize it. It just has to be tapped.

People have told me that I'm creative because I am interested in doing things like pottery and beading and other crafts, and turn out some interesting products. Its nice to hear, but I don't feel any more creative than someone who would say, "I'm not creative." However, something in me feels fulfilled and peaceful and overflowingly happy when I am in the creative process. I glean immense pleasure from producing art. And, I think it has something to do with God's fingerprint on me. We're all created in God's image, and HE is the master creator. Creating somehow makes me feel in touch with God. And because we're all made in His image, I maintain that on some level we all must be creative. For proof I'd like to offer any one of my kindergarten classes. I can put out a huge box of crayons and markers and a stack of plain paper, and they all will be content for as long as I let them draw and color. We're all creative.

I was thinking about that word: creativity. People generally use that word to describe new, interesting ideas and original or unique work. But as I was thinking about it I realized that the word creativity comes from the word create, and the word create doesn't mean anything more than "to cause something to be" or "to make." Well, we all make things. Some people make grilled cheese sandwiches, some people make charts for business proposals, some people make ridiculously complicated software, some people make comfortable homes, and some people make elaborate cakes. Everybody makes something sometimes; a perfect pyramid of canned food, a tree house in the backyard, a happy birthday card, a snugly rolled sleeping bag, a precision shave, a detailed tour of a city... the list is endless. We all create. We all bare the fingerprint of the Master Creator. We all are creative. How freeing would it be for each of us to embrace this? What would you create if you believed you too were creative. You are.

"They Don't Know My Hip Pain."

This post has slowly been composed in my head for several weeks now. Its swirled around in my head while running and living my day-to-day life until now. Nothing specific has happened to prompt me to finally put it into words except that its time to get the thoughts out there. 

For the past several months I have been running on a relatively minor injury. I have tendinitis in my right hip-pelvis area, probably caused by running. I did have a small fall a couple months ago, and although it might have contributed to the painful hip, I don't know if it was the cause of the current pain. Anyhow, I have had X-rays and been examined by an orthopedist and currently am taking a round of NSAIDs to see if we can treat the injury orally before considering a shot. In reality, compared with other injuries people run on all the time, its really not severe enough pain to complain too much about. In fact, I feel silly spending all this time talking about it.  But I bring it up to explain what I really want to talk about: our perceptions of other people. 

When I go running I am acutely aware of other people noticing if I am a slow runner or a fast runner. That's to say I am extremely self-conscious. I hate the idea that people might see me out on a run and think "wow, she needs to kick it up a notch." I know I shouldn't worry about these other people's judgements, and I have really battled those thoughts to a point that I am comfortable in my own shoes out on a run. One line of battle I  use in my mental fight is, "they haven't seen the 4 miles I ran before this one," thinking that if that had seen those 4 previous miles they'd be easier on my current pace. Some other lines of battle are, "they aren't running these 8 miles with me," "they haven't seen where I started from," and"its so stinkin' HOT!" I know I am not the only person fighting mental battles when I run. As the old line goes, "running is 90% mental, the rest if physical." 

Lately though, I have been fighting my mental running battles with a new line and applying the same line to my daily non-running mental battles as well; "They don't know my hip pain." If someone were to see me running, and pass judgement that I was running too slow or with a bizarre gate, they'd have no idea I was running on an injury. But the point of this post isn't to make myself feel better about what other people think of me. It is about what I have learned in the process. You see, I am just as guilty of noticing other runners and thinking, "C'mon, we can make it up the hill a little faster," or something similar. I know that being a runner I should be more compassionate knowing too well the pains and struggles they may be facing. And now that I do have a legitimate reason for running slower than I want to, I realize all to well that I have NO idea what battles other people are facing. I don't know if their knees are throbbing or their backs are in stitches. I have no idea if they are wearing old running shoes or have the worst shin splints ever. I really have no idea what battles other people face on a run-to-run basis. 

Similarly, I have no idea what people are facing on a day-to-day basis either. I really have no idea why people do the things they do or how they do them. And running on a bum hip has caused me to realize that I need to be much more compassionate. So, my mantra lately has been "They don't know my hip pain." It's not a statement I say to make myself feel better when I do something ridiculous, rather, its a statement of reminder that I don't know your battles and I need to be nice. When I see someone taking up the entire aisle at the grocery store, I tell myself, "They don't know my hip pain." When I see someone taking a LONG time to make the right hand turn, I tell myself, "They don't know my hip pain." Its my reminder to myself that I ought to show some grace, some patience, and compassion. 

Flying over the Clouds

I have this thing for clouds. I love them. Its not obsessive or anything like that. I just love to lay on my back and look at the them. I think they are so beautiful. I especially love the clouds you get to see when I fly. I love breaking through the cloud cover on take off and looking out over the clouds like its a big fluffy blanket, or an ocean of whipped cream drenched in golden sunlight. There are few things more beautiful than that to me. While I was looking out over thoe clouds yesterday while flying from Toronto to Atlanta, it occurred to me that I wouldn't have gotten to see such beauty if we hadn't just gone through some turbulence on the flight. And I admit, regardless of the million flights I've made between Toronto and Atlanta, the turbulence always makes my heart pound. I get a little nervous when the plane shakes. And when I realized that I had to go through those nervous moments to see one of my favorite sights, it was like the voice of God whispering to me, reminding me that life is the same; To experience true beauty in life, we sometimes have to go through some turbulence. And that turbulence in life can be scary, but the view on the other side makes the scary worth it...

"Hear, O LORD, and be merciful to me; 

       O LORD, be my help.

You turned my wailing into dancing; 

       you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,

that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. 

       O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever." 

~Psalm 30:10-12

"I will extol the LORD at all times; 

       his praise will always be on my lips.

My soul will boast in the LORD; 

       let the afflicted hear and rejoice.

Glorify the LORD with me; 

       let us exalt his name together.

I sought the LORD, and he answered me; 

       he delivered me from all my fears.

Those who look to him are radiant; 

       their faces are never covered with shame."

~Psalm 34:1-5

 

Talk on the phone or park your car. But don't do both

I drive a little car, so maybe I just don't understand. Parking my car takes about 5 seconds and no skill at all, so maybe my opinion comes from too narrow a focus. But, after watching someone struggle to park her gigantic SUV next to my little car, I decided that auto dealerships or the DMV ought to create a parking test for people who want to drive an SUV. If you can't park it, you can't drive it. If you can only get it into the spot kinda straight, then you can't drive it. I realized after I had created this lovely parking test in my head, that my little friend trying to park her unnecessarily large truck, was actually just talking on the phone and trying to park with one hand... Of COURSE you can't park a huge car straight with one hand! What was I thinking?

I Love My Neighborhood

Yesterday I drove out of the Highlands to go to Midtown. It's only a couple of miles, 10  minutes or so across town, 20 in bad traffic. Its closer than driving to work by a long shot. But, it just wasn't "home." I went to Midtown to find a dress for a my little brother's wedding, and although I found something, I really didn't like being in that part of town! The taffic was aweful, the roads were closed all over the place, and to make it worse, it was pouring rain. I went to a grocery store in Midtown instead of waiting until I got back to the Highlands, and I hated trying to find what I needed there! Its probably a little insane I think, but I immediately felt better when I turned off of Monroe Drive onto Virginia Ave and was back in "my neighborhood." I am inclined to say that there isn't anything special about my neighborhood, but that is a lie! Its a like a little town inside the city. Regular folks live here. I can walk to the grocery store or, like I did today, down to the village and buy my mom a mother's day gift. I can cross streets in the middle of the street because its all residential area and few people are zipping along these streets- except of course the one my building is on. There really is nothing I HAVE to leave this area for, except to go to work and church. I hope I can stay in this neighborhood a long time, or at least, one day find another that I love as much as this one. I know I am totally corny..! So now I feel like all the people in my building should all come out on the front lawn now and we can sing, holding hands in a circle, "these are the people in my neighborhood, in my neighborhood, in my neighborhood, yes these are the people in my neighborhood..." 

ING Marathon: Mile 20 Girl

I woke up bright and early Sunday to cheer on a few friends and running buddies who were running in the ING Marathon and 1/2 Marathon. To my delight, mile 20 of the marathon was set up right in front of my apartment! I was excited the way I imagine I would be excited if a parade was going by my house. I just love running! After cheering at mile 8 for my friends running the 1/2 (go Jessy, Duffy, Amy, and Laurie!), I headed back to my mile marker at home and cheered on the runners who were crossing the 20 mile mark. Yes I sat on the steps and cheered for absolute strangers; Yes it was cold; Yes I probably looked like a dork (and fun to tease; thanks guys)! At first I did kinda feel silly cheering for people I didn't know, but then runners started to smile and cheer and say, "Thank you for being here!" The longer I sat there, the more I realized how important it was for me to be sitting there, cheering with a combination of phrases like, "looking strong," "looking good," "almost there," "on the home stretch now," "dig deep," "hang in there," "Yay Mile 20!" "Good Job!" "You got this," and "Woohoo!" Ok, so maybe Emerson and the guys enjoyed cheering on my single-handed job of cheering on runners, maybe I did look silly hanging out by myself, but I don't care. I know how much that cheering means to a runner, even if they have no idea who I am, and for that reason and a love of the sport, I cheered, and cheered, and cheered, and cheered, foolish looking or not. And, afterwards, about 2 hours or so afterwards, I went inside and drank another nice, hot, toasty, cup of coffee and realized all that clapping and cheering had broken the skin on my hands. I had no idea at the time my skin was starting to crack. But now, its incredibly painful and nearly impossible to wash my hands. However, I am fairly certain that the pain in my hands is minimal to the pain those runners I cheered on are feelings now. Strangely, the cracks are motivating. They remind me of the struggle of those other runners and inspire me to push through fatigue and keep running when what I really want to do is not run another step. Somehow if they could find the mental and physical discipline to run pass my 20 mile marker, then I can find the discipline to run pass a 6, 7 or 8 mile marker! So now I add a giant "Thank you" to all the "Woohoo's." Thank you for running and inspiring me to run. You all are my real-life heros!

Coming Alive

It's Spring!
It's Spring!

Roll Down the windows
Turn up the music
Let down your hair
Feel that warm air!

It's Spring!
It's Spring!

Can't you smell it?
Can't you feel it?
I can taste it
I can hear it!

It's Spring!

and
I feel like I'm coming alive
again

Dear Neighbor

I don't know you. I don't know your name or which apartment you live in. I don't know even what you look like. I know you're a girl and I know that you ride a car pool at 7 am on Tuesdays. But if I passed you in the street, I wouldn't recognize you. And I am hoping that you wouldn't recognize me either. I just want to say, "I'm sorry." You see, you said, "Good Morning to me" and I didn't even look at you. I didn't mean to be rude. It's not normally like me to walk on by without looking at or speaking to someone who spoke to me first. But something was happening Tuesday morning that you had no idea about. Tuesday morning was crazy hair day at school; We were celebrating Dr. Seuss at school. Because I have beyond my fair share of hair, I always am able to create some sort of wild hair-do for crazy hair day. When I was leaving my apartment (late) I was REALLY hoping not to run into you, or any other neighbors, and when I saw you there, waiting for your ride, I had tried my very best to pass by without being noticed. I failed, and you said, "Good Morning." In my shame I couldn't even look at you, so I just mumbled something and ran on by. I'm sorry! But can you blame me? If you had crazy hair day at your job, and you left you apartment looking like a "who" from who-ville, would you be bold enough to greet people you'd never met before? Maybe you are that bold. Well, if you are brave enough to leave your apartment looking like this and still feel confident and act normal, I think you are my new hero. So I am sorry, hopefully you won't recognize me when my hair is normal and you'll always be wondering about who the crazy hair girl was. I've included a picture in my little note so you know who it is apologizing.